Until I find you Again
by Just Yesterday
Summary: Buffy/Angel oneshot. Ten years after they'd beaten the first evil, Buffy's given a letter from Angel- one he wrote before his own battle. 'He'd love her until the day he died, whether it was later that evening, or a hundred years from now.'


Title: Until I find you again

Author: Dana Sollers

Subject: Buffy/Angel oneshot. Ten years after they'd beaten the first evil, Buffy's given a letter from Angel- one he wrote before his own battle. 'He'd love her until the day he died, whether it was later that evening, or a hundred years from now.'

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the Buffy universe. It all belongs to the god Joss Whedon. First part is dialogue taken from the series finale of BTVS.

Author's Notes: Okay so once upon a time, I use to write for this fandom. That being said, it's been years and I am a little rusty. But I promised Kat that I would come up with something and I don't back down out of my promises. Also to BG who quite possibly likes Buffy as much as I do. To Amanda cause she's a fan too. And to Lizzy & Kelli who someday soon will become BTVS fans. I know it. Hopefully you all enjoy :-)

Also- I made a mistake in this fic and it was pointed out by my BFF, that I had writen mother when it should have been father. It's fixed now, so excuse the mistake. Thanks :-)

**UNTIL I FIND YOU AGAIN**

By:  
Dana Sollers

_"Angel, I do. Sometimes think that far ahead."_

_"Sometimes is something."_

_"It'll be a long time coming, years if ever."_

_"I ain't getting any older."_

-x-

Ten years to the day had passed.

She'd seen the world, taught the next generation of slayers how to advert the apocalypse and had witnessed her friends move on with their lives. Xander was married now, living in the outskirts of Boston. Giles was in England teaching at a new school, dedicated to training potential slayers. Willow and Kennedy had broken up years before and she'd gone to Istanbul, as a way to find herself. To this day, Buffy still didn't quite understand what that had meant.

And Dawn, her baby sister had a family of her own now. A husband, a child and another one on the way. She lived on the outskirts of Los Angeles, close to the friends she'd grown up with.

Buffy was tired.

After sixteen years of fighting the forces of evil, she'd finally decided that she'd needed a break. Heading back to California and her family seemed like the best thing to do. Both Dawn and her father had been happy to see her and she'd managed to become an okay aunt to her four year old niece.

Giles offered her a chance to retire but Buffy had declined. She needed a little bit of a break but after a few weeks, she'd be back. She'd never be able to turn her back on who she was. On what she was capable of.

She'd been in Los Angeles for a couple of days when Dawn had finally gotten the courage to hand her a letter. It was on aged paper and a familiar cursive handwriting taunted her. She'd know it anywhere.

Angel.

She hadn't heard from him in ten years, to the day. The last thing she'd said to him was something ridiculous about cookie dough and then basically asked him to wait for her. He'd agreed, with just a shake of his head. He loved her and would do whatever she needed, no matter how much it killed him in the process.

Buffy read the letter allowing the tears that she'd kept bottled inside for years, to fall. She'd read about what could have possibly been his final battle, about the very last day he'd granted to each of his team. A final day to spend however they wanted, whatever made them the happiest.

His letter went on to explain that he'd already had that day and that although it was real to him in every sense of the word, she'd never remember it. They'd spent the day together, as human as he'd ever been. They were in love and happy, with every possibility of the future they'd always dreamed of.

Through tears, Buffy read what he had done. That he'd given her up yet again, as a way to save the world. To save her. They were champions, both with many battles ahead. If he'd stayed human, he'd never be able to stand by her side and fight. He'd be the reason for her downfall. So he'd gone to the gods and had the memory taken away from her. He'd alone carry the burden of remembering that day.

She choked out a sob as she continued, reading how desperate she been to convince him she'd remember. That she'd never be able to forget. And yet, she had. She'd gone on with her life, without the memory of that day. Without the memory of his heartbeat against her hand and the way he looked in the sunlight.

He'd written about the battle they were facing, one he hoped he'd live through, if for nothing else but to tell her what she'd meant to him over the years. How she made him see the good in the world and made him want to struggle to find the good inside of his own heart. His own soul.

She'd changed him, more than he ever thought possible. Even after all of the years away from her, she was the one truth that he knew. The one thing that made the battle he fought, worth fighting.

Angel wrote that he'd have hope until the final moment of battle. That he would fight the demons with every intent of living, just so that he could see her smile once again. To touch her face once more. To make love to her after what had felt like an eternity and not have to suffer the consequences.

She'd read his last words and her tears had stopped. He'd love her until the day he died, whether that was later that evening, or a hundred years from now. Angel had signed the letter with a simple always and she'd fought back the tears that threatened to fall once more.

Always.

No matter what happened, everything would always come back to the two of them. It was their destiny, she believed. A slayer in love with a souled vampire, a love more powerful and consuming than any of the fairy tales or love stories she'd ever read.

Nothing had changed that.

Not the years they'd spent apart, or any of the pain they'd caused each other. None of the relationships they'd been in or the battles they'd witnessed had deterred their love. She was sure nothing ever could.

As she placed the letter down onto the bed, she stared at the walls in confusion. The world was still there, did that mean he had won the battle? If he had, then why hadn't he come to see her?

A million questions entered her mind as she struggled with the overwhelming fear that maybe he didn't make it through. Perhaps he'd hurt in the process. She reached for the phone and began to call Giles, hoping that he'd have the answers or at least be able to find them.

Giles hadn't been much help, all he had was a simple address of one of Angel's old acquaintances. His name was Conner and she realized that the address was a short drive away.

Buffy dressed quickly, into a sweater and jeans and pulled her hair back away from her face. She'd grabbed her car keys and the letter, tucking it inside her leather jacket. Conner wasn't a name she recognized but she had to start somewhere. If there was a chance that Angel was still alive, she needed to see it through.

-x-

Twenty minutes later, Buffy stared up at the address she'd been given. She rang the door bell and took a few steps back. After a few minutes, the door opened and a young man stepped out onto the porch.

"Can I help you?"

Buffy stared at him in silence, her eyes taking in the sight of the man in front of her. He was tall and skinny, with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She'd never seen him before and yet as she stared into his eyes, she couldn't help but think she'd seen them before. "I'm sorry, I have the wrong address..." Buffy said, turning to walk away. He seemed nice enough but there were truths hidden in his eyes that she was afraid to face. As she reached the steps, his voice called out to her.

"You're Buffy, right?"

At the mention of her name, she stood frozen. She turned around hesitantly and smiled slightly. "That's me, Buffy Summers. You must be..." She said, gathering all the courage that she could.

"Conner," he explained, reaching out his hand for her to shake. "I'm Angel's son."

Buffy gasped, her hand dropping his at the revelation. That wasn't possible, was it? He didn't give her a chance to ask any questions as he continued. "I've been expecting you," he admitted honestly. "The truth is, I thought it would have been a lot sooner. But better late than never, right?"

"I don't understand..." Buffy shook her head.

He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. "That makes two of us. But deep down you and I both know it's true. Why don't you come inside," he explained, motioning for her to follow him into the apartment.

She did as he said and watched as Conner sat down at his desk. Their were books and weapons spread across throughout the room and Buffy took a seat on the couch. He turned to face her and smiled slightly. "I'm guessing you have plenty of questions. Starting about how I came around."

Buffy nodded her head and after a few minutes of silence, Conner began to explain everything that he remembered. He talked about Darla and Angel and explained what had happened to Cordelia. And then, an hour after she'd arrived- he began to tell her about their final battle.

They had saved the world but Angel had lost his team in the process. Fred was gone and so was Illyria, Wesley had been killed and so had Gunn. When the battle was over only Spike, Angel and himself were left. Spike left that night and a few days later, so had Angel. He'd left behind a scroll, complete with a prophecy that Buffy had never heard of.

Shanshu.

Conner tried his best to explain the text and what it meant for either Angel or Spike. He explained that a vampire with a soul would take part in the apocalypse and would be gifted for his efforts. Neither one were aware of who was chosen, so they left town with the intent to find out.

It was the last Conner had seen of either of them and almost nine years had passed. He handed her the scroll and dug into his desk for an old journal that he found. "He would have wanted you to have it," Conner explained. He didn't go into details about his fathers absence, or how he had spent the last nine years fearing the worst. "I'm sorry I can't help you more than that."

"It's okay," Buffy smiled. She ran her fingers over the leather journal and shook her head. "It's funny, isn't it? You can try to turn your back on everything you know and yet somehow always get swept back up into it."

Conner shrugged his shoulders.

"Something tells me you're not the type to turn your back on anything," he said, glancing down at the journal and then back up to Buffy. "Something Angel and you have in common."

Buffy stood up, knowing that it was time to leave but not ready to say goodbye. If Angel was gone, Conner was the only thing left of him. He'd instantly felt like family, like a part of her.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say.

He nodded his head as she walked away from him, calling out to her only when she'd reached the door.

"Buffy- If he's out there, you'll find him."

**FIN.**

**Okay so what do you think? Did it suck? Did you enjoy it, honestly let me know. **

**At some point I am going to do a sequel to this but it might take a couple of days before you see it.**

**Read & Review lovelies.**


End file.
